20 Choosing Words
20.1 Key Insights
Starting with individual word choice, good scientific writing is:
Concise There are no unnecessary words or phrases obscuring the real content.
Clear There are no ambiguous words or phrases that confuse the reader and impede understanding.
Correct The text communicates exactly what the author intended.
20.2 Scientific Writing is Concise
20.2.1 Delete Unnecessary Phrases
Many words and phrases can be deleted without changing the meaning of your text. Unnecessary phrases are often referred to as writing zeros. However, it is more accurate to call them reading zeros. Although they impede reading flow, they can aid writing momentum. If writing these words helps you put pen to paper, then go for it! Just remember to remove them when doing revisions! Some examples are given in table @ref(tab:deleteWords).
| Examples | |
|---|---|
| In regard to … | … was found to be … |
| … has been observed in … | … have been shown to … |
```{example, name=“Delete Unnecessary Phrases”}
Consider the following sentences:
👎 Constant flux rates have been observed to occur in metabolic pathways that have been determined to function in stress responses.
👍 Constant flux rates occur in metabolic pathways that function in stress responses.
Can you think of a case when the first sentence would be appropriate?
### Shorten Lengthy, Necessary Phrases {#sec:Phrases-That-Can}
Some common phrases can be replaced with one word (table \@ref(tab:ShortPhrases)), or contain redundant information (table \@ref(tab:redundant)). Both types should be shortened when possible.
| Replace ... | With ... |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------------|
| *In/with reference to ...* | *Regarding, Concerning (or omit)* |
| *In/with regards to ...* | *Regarding, Concerning (or omit)* |
| *Based on the fact that ...* | *Because, Since* |
| *Inasmuch as ...* | *Because* |
| *Insofar as ...* | *Because* |
| *Prior to ...* | *Before, By* |
| *No later than ...* | *Before, By* |
| *By means of ...* | *By* |
| *On the basis of ...* | *By, Given* |
| *For the purpose of ...* | *For, To* |
| *In order to ...* | *To* |
| *So as to ...* | *To* |
| *Referred to as ...* | *Called* |
| *Has the capability of ...* | *Can, is able* |
| *During the course of ...* | *During* |
| *An adequate amount of ...* | *Enough* |
| *With the exception of ...* | *Except* |
| *First of all ...* | *First* |
| *In the course of ...* | *In, While* |
| *In light of the fact that ...* | *Consequently, given that, regarding* |
| *Considerable number of ...* | *Many, Several* |
| *Considerable amount of ...* | *Much* |
| *Majority of ...* | *Most* |
| *At no time ...* | *Never* |
| *At the present time ...* | *Now, Currently* |
| *In many cases ...* | *Often* |
| *In some cases ...* | *Sometimes* |
| *During the time that ...* | *While, When, Concurrently* |
| *In the absence of ...* | *Without* |
| *Much/More better* | *Better* |
| *Except for* | *Except* |
| *Very close to zero* | *Almost* |
| *In the event that ...* | *If, Given* |
| *In light of the fact that ...* | *Because, Since* |
: (#tab:ShortPhrases) Many phrases can be replaced by a single word.
```{example, name="Shorten Lengthy, Necessary Phrases"}
👎 _At the present time_, there are _a considerable number of_ permanent myeloma cell cultures _in existence_.
👍 _Currently_, there are _many_ permanent cultures of myeloma cells _available for study_.
It's a given that these cell cultures _exist_, what needs to be mentioned is that they are _available_.```{example, name=“Choose Clear and Correct over Concise”}
👎 The decline in CD4 count during HIV-1 infection is not constant over time.
👍 The decline in CD4 count during the course of HIV-1 infection is not constant.
Here, there is a potential confusion of an event (i.e. the initial infection), and what occurs after the event (i.e. the progression of the infection over time). The extra phrase makes it clear what is referred to.
| Instead of ... | Use ... |
|------------------------------------------|-------------------------|
| 10 hours in duration | 10 hours |
| Ranging from 5 to 9 | 5 -- 9 |
| ... and ... are found to be in agreement | ... agrees with ... |
| Give consideration to ... | Consider ... |
| ... are considered to be | ... considered, ... are |
: (#tab:redundant) Many phrases contain redundant information which can be deleted.
```{example, name="Delete Redundant Information"}
👎 The colonies were _small in size, blue in color and oval in shape_.
👍 The colonies were _small, blue and oval_.
👍 ... _small, blue, oval_ colonies.
---
👎 Bear vocalisations were recorded for _a period of_ 10 hours _in duration_.
👍 Bear vocalisations were recorded for 10 hours.
```{exercise, name=“Shorten Lengthy, Necessary Phrases”}
Other commonly used phrases, which writers rely on to fill out their prose, can also be shortened. Consider the phrases in table @ref(tab:shortenLong). What purpose do they serve, what are some alternatives? Complete the table and the examples below with your partner.
These common phrases are not only unnecessary, but they make your writing bland!
| Instead of ... | Use ... | Purpose |
|-------------------------------------------|---------|---------|
| *As a consequence of ...* | | |
| *in light of the fact that* | | |
| *An example of this is the fact that ...* | | |
| *Accounted for by the fact that ...* | | |
: (#tab:shortenLong) Shorten thes lengthy, necessary Phrases.
```{exercise, name="Shorten phrases"}
👎 _As a consequence of_ the prevalence of obesity, there is an urgent need for policymakers to develop appropriate guidelines.
👍 .......... the prevalence of obesity, there is an urgent need for policymakers to develop appropriate guidelines.
---
👎 This seems sensible _in light of the fact that_ the images are composed of objects at all distances; no particular angular scale should stand out.
👍 This seems sensible .......... the images are composed of objects at all distances; no particular angular scale should stand out.
---
👎 _An example of this is the fact that_ the two longest terminal branches are clustered together in the phylogenetic tree.
👍 .........., the two longest terminal branches are clustered together in the phylogenetic tree.
---
👎 The discrepancy in our results _can be accounted for by the fact that_ different protocols were used.
👍 The discrepancy in our results .......... the use of different protocols.
20.2.2 Delete Unnecessary it … that Phrases
Many it … that phrases are used improperly as transitions or to highlight interesting facts. In many cases, e.g. table @ref(tab:itThatDelete), they are irrelevant to the intended purpose and can be omitted altogether.
| It is well known that … | It has long been known that … |
| It was shown that … | It was found that … |
| It was reported that … | It was observed that … |
```{example, name=“Delete Unnecessary it … that Phrases”} 👎 It is well known that African populations exhibit high levels of genetic diversity.
👍 African populations exhibit high levels of genetic diversity.
👎 It has been reported that the phase of circadian rhythms is earlier in morning-types than in evening-types.
👍 The phase of circadian rhythms is earlier in morning-types than in evening-types.
### Shorten Necessary it ... that Phrases {#sub:Shorten-Necessary-it}
In contrast to the previous section, where unnecessary *it ... that* phrases introduce background information, some *it ... that* phrases serve a purpose and may be shortened instead of deleted.
```{example, name="Shorten Necessary _it ... that_ phrases"}
👎 There are no vessels in the cornea, and so _it can be assumed that_ the oxygen supply of its epithelium is poor.
👍 Since there are no vessels in the cornea, a poor oxygen supply of its epithelium is _assumed/expected_.```{exercise, name=“Shorten Necessary it … that phrases”}
Consider the it … that phrases in table @ref(tab:itThatReplace). What purpose do they serve, what are some alternatives? Complete the table and the example sentences with your partner.
👎 It is interesting to note that our model accurately predicts disease outcome.
👍 ………., our model accurately predicts disease outcome.
👎 However, it should be mentioned that similar results have been obtained in other cases.
👍 ………., similar results have been obtained in other cases.
👎 It has been suggested that these peptides increase motivation, attention, and arousal.
👍 These peptides ………. increase motivation, attention, and arousal.
👎 It is often the case that automatically extracted metadata is incorrect.
👍 ………., automatically extracted metadata is incorrect.
| Purpose | Instead of ... | Use... |
|--------------------|----------------------------------|------------------|
| *Untested hypothesis* | *It can be assumed that* | *assume, expect* |
| | *It is interesting to note that ...* | |
| | *It should be noted that ...* | |
| | *It should be mentioned that ...* | |
| | *It should be emphasized that ...* | |
| | *It should be pointed out that ...* | |
| | *It is possible that ...* | |
| | *It has been suggested that ...* | |
| | *It has been speculated that ...* | |
| | *It is often the case that ...* | |
: (#tab:itThatReplace) Replace necessary *it ... that* phrases.
```{exercise, name="Removing words"}
Improve each of the following sentences by striking out unnecessary words and phrases.
- Research is currently underway to completely catalog the chromatin modifications of the entire human epigenome.
- The cost of the HapMap project has been estimated roughly at $130 million.
- When the clone is transcribed from DNA to RNA and translated from RNA to protein _in vitro_, both polypeptides can be detected.
- All participants in the pilot project experienced a range of positive benefits and pledged to continue collaborating together.
- It is worth pointing out that the most strongly binding aptamer was already detectable after the first round of SELEX.
- It is known that free radicals have carcinogenic and mutagenic effects.
- In this paper we give an overview of the most relevant existing work in this area of research.
- It is in fact known that glucose is one of the products of photosysthesis in plants (Yang, 2014).
- Experience teaches us that this is generally the best approach (see our previous papers: 12, 22 and 34).
- Several authors in the past and also more recently have shown that substantial improvements in performance can ...
- It should be borne in mind that there may be a high environmental contamination level (Smrkolj, 2005).
- Finally, it is well known that in archaeological waves, hydrocarbons sublimate over time and it cannot be excluded that a similar phenomenon may occur in a thin film of oil (Bakali, 2014).
- Another proposal is presented in (12), where the authors use a time-series analysis with travel speed simulation to predict future trajectories. In particular they use a process based on range querying with spatial-temporal constraints on a moving object database.```{exercise, name=“Shorten phrases, I”} Simplify the following sentences by editing the phrases in italics:
This study represents an increase in the number of characterised human microRNAs by an order of magnitude.
The sample size was not quite sufficiently large enough.
This can be achieved in a satisfactory way.
From a conceptual point of view, the task is quite difficult to visualise.
In the normal course of events, such occurrences are rare.
As a consequence of this, we were unable to …
Our algorithm can search for solutions in an incremental way.
Since these calculations are in general redundant, we decided to …
It is interesting to note that, x is the same as y.
It is probably the case that, x is higher than y.
It is immediate to see that this is a much simpler solution.
Installation is carried out in an automatic fashion.
```{exercise, name="Shorten phrases, II"}
Edit the phrases below using only words that are absolutely essential:
- When managing water resources it is _absolutely essential_ to consider natural ecosystems.
- Extracting DNA from _a large number of_ samples simultaneously is often tedious and inefficient.
- Multipotent precursors can _give rise to_ all major cell types of the frog retina.
- _In the event that_ data was not collected during an exam, measurements from the most recent previous exam were used.
- _A proportion of_ patients with lymphoma may harbor mutations of the perforin gene.
- Symptoms _along the lines of_ those associated with human hepatitis B were found in woodchucks.
- _It was shown that_ a UPFC _has the capability of_ simultaneously regulating power flow and minimising the power loss.
- The second law of thermodynamics is _almost unique_ in nineteenth century physics in that it survived the revolutions of relativity and quantum mechanics unscathed.
- These new polymers possess _quite unique_ qualities, allowing them to function as either drug-carrier molecules or as reconstructive plastics.
- A detailed review of the literature reveals that previous studies are _few in number_ and limited in clinical relevance.
- Two variables can be _related to each other_ without either variable directly affecting the values of the other.In conclusion, concise writing happens in the editing phase and is primarily concerned with deleting unnecessary words and phrases.
20.3 Scientific Writing is Clear
20.3.1 Make clear statements when possible
Hedge words are adjectives, adverbs and verbs used when you want to be cautious. They can be useful, but excessive use of them sounds too timid. Make clear statements by limiting use of the following hedge words:
| Appear | Could | Indicate |
| Likely | Many | May |
| Most | Often | Perhaps |
| Potentially | Possibly | Seem |
| Some | Suggest | Usually |
```{example, name=“Use Hedge Words Sparingly”}
👎 Our approach may possibly be useful in the field of stem cell research.
👍 A possible use of our approach is in the field of stem cell research.
👎 It appears that subtitles may not only cause a potential cognitive overload, but they may also lead to split-attention effect.
👍 Subtitles appear to not only cause a cognitive overload, but also a split-attention effect.
### Use *-ly* Adverbs Appropriately {#ly_adverbs}
The *-ly* adverbs are often mis-used. Adverbs with an *-ly* suffix denotes *in the manner of*. For example, *promptly* literally means *in a prompt manner*. The problem arises when there are multiple interpretations. *Practically*, meaning *in practice*, is used colloquially to mean *nearly all*. The same is true for *Essentially*, which literally refers to an essential, i.e. *necessary*, thing.
We've encountered other cases where the meaning is not easily misinterpreted in previous exercises.
| | | |
|---------------|---------------|--------------|
| *Actually* | *Fairly* | *Really* |
| *Basically* | *Practically* | *Reasonably* |
| *Essentially* | *Rather* | *Virtually* |
: (#tab:ImpropWords) Some *-ly* adverbs which are often improperly used.
```{example, name="Appropriate use of _-ly_ verbs"}
👍 We can _reasonably_ expect that both types of management influenced the present composition of the plant community.
👍 Following Li et al. (2003), we define reliability _practically_ as the agreement between independent measurements of a certain effect.
👍 After isolating DNA, traces of ethanol remain, so it _essentially_ has to be dehydrated.```{example, name=“Avoid Generally”}
Generally is typically well-understood, but in many cases its necessity is debatable. It also encourages unnecessary phrases.
👎 JDM research is generally characterized by efforts to compare how people actually make judgments and decisions with how they should ideally make judgments and decisions.
In the sentence above actually and ideally are appropriate since we are contrasting the actual and the ideal manner in which people make decisions.
👍 JDM research compares how people actually make judgments and decisions with how they should ideally make judgments and decisions.
```{exercise, name="Replace misleading -ly Adverbs."}
Replace the _-ly_ adverb in italics with a more appropriate word:
- R packages can _actually_ be very simple to develop.
- Comparisons made during field work suggest that the model represents the salinity field _reasonably_ well near the river mouth.
- When Skinner retired in 1974, peer-reviewed journals contained _essentially_ no studies of emotion and cognition.
- _Virtually_ all key metabolic regulators examined to date display conserved functions across phyla.
- _Fairly_ clear evidence of this has been obtained for chimpanzees and orangutans.
- MANOVA is _essentially_ a synonym for ANOVA for multivariate linear models.
- Indeed, corrections were evident for _essentially all_ measures.
20.3.2 Don’t Over-sell Your Results
Intensifiers are adjectives, adverbs and verbs used to strengthen nouns or verbs. Like hedge words, they can serve a purpose, but excessive use sounds arrogant. Limit the use of the following intensifiers:
| Always | Basic | Central |
| Certainly | Clearly | Crucial |
| It is clear | Obvious | Prove |
| Quite | Show | Very |
```{example, name=“Communicate Results Without Arrogance”}
Instead of trying to convince the reader by using intensifiers, pay attention to your writing style. A well-crafted argument can be more persuasive than a statement that uses intensifiers.
👎 Figure 1 clearly shows a marked increase in GFP reporter activity following transfection.
👍 GFP reporter activity increased markedly following transfection (Figure 1).
### Avoid Reporting Verbs {#repoverbs}
When describing background material, avoid using the following unnecessary \_reporting} verbs.
| | | |
|-------------|------------|-------------|
| *Described* | *Noted* | *Noticed* |
| *Observed* | *Occurred* | *Performed* |
| *Reported* | *Saw* | *Was done* |
: (#tab:ReportingVerbs) Avoid these reporting verbs
```{example, name="Avoid Reporting Verbs"}
👎 Smith _et al._ (2008) _observed_ an increase in IgE concentration in response to allergens.
👍 IgE concentration increases in response to allergens (Smith _et al._, 2008).
20.3.3 Avoid “Reserved” Words
Significant is a reserved word in scientific communications — use it cautiously and correctly! Use it only for quantitative statements of statistical significance.
Do not state our results are highly significant unless you can quote the statistical test and a p-value. Use words like markedly, substantially, considerably, or greatly to highlight dramatic effects.
```{example, name=“Use Significance only with statistics”}
👎 Of note, in the same 4-hour time-frame, significant changes were also observed in acetyl coenzyme A (fig. 2a).
👍 Of note, in the same 4-hour time-frame substantial changes were also observed in acetyl coenzyme A (fig. 2a).
Better still, specify what substantial means:
👍 Notably, in the same 4-hour time-frame acetyl coenzyme A also increased 4-fold (fig. 2a).
*Prove* has evolved to mean *demonstrating something with certainty*. Therefore it is inappropriate to write *we proved/disproved the hypothesis*.
Scientists test falsifiable hypotheses by looking for supporting and contradictory evidence. Scientists do not set out to prove or disprove a hypothesis, but rather to reject a null hypothesis. It is correct to say *We failed to reject the null hypothesis*.
If a hypothesis is upheld by multiple observations it may develop into a theory. If the theory is shown to always be true then it may become a law (e.g. Mendel's laws of heredity, the laws of thermodynamics). Therefore, *We proved/disproved the theory/law* is appropriate usage of prove.
### Communicate Objectively
Be neutral in reporting your results so that the reader is not led to believe that you performed your experiments with an expected outcome in mind. Think about instances when you would use the phrases in the table on the right.
| Instead of ... | Use... | |
|-------------------------|-------------------|-----|
| *We could not find* | *We did not find* | |
| *We failed to find* | | |
| *We failed to identify* | | |
: (#tab:biasPhrases) Phrases which suggest a bias should be avoided.
```{example, name="Inappropriate use of Subjectively Seeking a Result"}
👎 We could not find an effect, even after three hours of exposure.
👍 We did not find an effect, even after three hours of exposure.
👍 No effects were observed, even after three hours of exposure.
There are two instances when you will have an expected outcome:
- It’s clear you, or someone else, is trying to reproduce a specific result (under the same or different conditions), as per the example below, or,
- You’re reporting statistical results, as in we failed to reject the null hypothesis, see page
```{example, name=“Appropriate use of Subjectively Seeking a Result”}
👍 Although studies using live models can elicit contagious yawns in dogs (22), Harr et al. (23) failed to find such an effect using video clips.
### Tailor Jargon to your audience
Jargon can be a major obstacle to clear writing and inevitably narrows the potential audience for your article. You should distinguish between cases where jargon is inappropriate because it obscures meaning and where it is appropriate because it aids communication.
Jargon should only be used when it serves as a bridge - not as a barrier - to communication.
```{example, name="Audience Restricted by Jargon Use"}
In this example, using _young sporophytes_ is legitimate but limits the audience to botanists. _Seedlings_ is useful when addressing a wider audience.
👎 _Young sporophytes_ were visible at 8 weeks after sowing.
👍 _Seedlings_ were visible at 8 weeks after sowing.
```{example, name=“Inappropriate Use of Jargon”}
👎 This population of afferent neurons possesses axons that are exceptionally etiolated.
👍 This population of sensory neurons possesses axons that are exceptionally long and thin.
In this example, the use of etiolated is not advisable because this technical term belongs to the field of botany. Afferent neuron is an accepted technical term, but using sensory neuron will reach a wider audience.
As an alternative to jargon, clarify meaning by creating a mental image for the reader.
```{example, name="Create Mental Images Instead of Using Jargon"}
👎 Approaches that allow drug _permeability_ through the _hematoencephalic_ barrier _entail_ osmotic disruption.
👍 Approaches that allow _the passage of_ drugs through the _blood brain_ barrier _involve_ osmotic disruption.
A phrase like _the passage of drugs_ evokes a mental image which helps the reader understand the process being explained.```{exercise, name=“Avoid unnecessary Jargon”}
Consider sentences 1 - 4. They all convey the same information, but use different amounts of jargon or technical terms.
- Gene loss following whole genome duplication juxtaposes new combinations of intergenic and genic regions.
- Gene loss following whole genome duplication brings together new combinations of intergenic and genic regions.
- Pseudogenisation following polyploidisation juxtaposes new combinations of intergenic and genic regions.
- Gene loss following polyploidisation juxtaposes new combinations of intergenic and genic regions.
- Which words do you consider to be jargon?
- Which sentence has the largest audience? The smallest?
- Which sentence is most concise?
### Minimize Usage of Abbreviations/Acronyms
Consider if an abbreviation or acronym is really necessary. Use them to replace lengthy terms that appear repeatedly, and define an acronym on its first appearance. Commonly known acronyms do not need to be defined. However, be aware that failing to explain an acronym that is commonly used in your field will restrict your potential audience to that field.
Terms like DNA, PCR and GFP are universally understood by molecular biologists, but terms like CNV and SNP will already limit your audience further.
Terms that only appear once in the manuscript do not need to be shortened.
Avoid using too many acronyms in a short space and, in general, try to limit the number of acronyms per paper to 5.
Note that some acronyms, such as PCR, can have different meanings depending on the field: - Polymerase chain reaction - Pathological complete response - Principal component regression - Periodic current reversal
Even within a field, some acronyms have more than one meaning, such as RT:
- Reverse transcriptase
- Real-time
```{example, name="Avoid Acronym Overload"}
The following sentence is overloaded with acronyms, making the text unreadable. As a solution, some unnecessary acronyms can be expanded.
👎 _GRBs_ consist of _CNEs_ containing _TFBS's_ for _GR_ detected using a _PWM_.
This rewrite might be appropriate for a journal targeting a computational biology audience:
👍 Genomic Regulatory Blocks consist of _CNEs_ containing transcription factor binding sites for _GR_ detected using a _PWM_.
The following rewrite might be appropriate for a journal targeting a broader biological audience:
👍 Genomic Regulatory Blocks consist of conserved non-coding elements containing transcription factor binding sites for glucocorticoid receptor. These binding sites were detected using a positional weight matrix.
20.3.4 Activate “Buried Verbs”
We already saw that reporting verbs (e.g. observed and described) are unnecessary (see @ref(#repoverbs)). Buried verbs are something different. These are verbs (and adjectives) which have been buried in a noun form. A lack of verbs leads to dull writing, so enliven your text by activating these buried verbs!
| Instead of … | Use … |
|---|---|
| Analysis of … | Analyse |
| Assessment of … | Assess |
| … is dependent on … | depends on |
| Emergence of … | Emerge |
| Existence of … | Exist |
| Inhibition of … | Inhibit |
| Measurement of … | Measure |
```{example, name=“Activate Buried Verbs.”}
👎 Centrifugation was performed and was followed by supernatant elution
👍 The sample was centrifuged and the supernatant eluted
👎 Here, we provide an assessment of the potential toxicological and environmental impacts of glyphosate-resistant crops.
👍 Here, we assess the potential toxicological and environmental impacts of glyphosate-resistant crops.
In conclusion, clear writing is about making to-the-point and meaningful statements.
## Scientific Writing is Correct {#correct}
Careful writers do not misuse frequently confused words. Their word choice is not arbitrary. Ambiguity in your writing makes it harder for the reader to understand what you mean. Write without ambiguity to make the reader's job easier, and avoid confusion.
### Problem Words: Accuracy, Precision, and Reproducibility
The words *accuracy*, *precision*, and *reproducibility* are often misunderstood. Consider the following example and definitions:
```{example, name="Accuracy"}
_Accuracy_ is the degree of conformity of a measurement relative to the known or true value of the quantity measured. _Accurate_ means errorless or exact.
👎 The _accuracy_ of our in silico prediction of the protein's 3-dimensional structure was assessed relative to the experimentally determined structure in the PDB database.
👍 The _accuracy_ of the experimentally determined structure relative to the protein's true structure can not be determined.
```{example, name=“Precision”}
Precision is, broadly speaking, the degree of refinement with which a measurement is made or reported. Precise means to conform strictly to rule or proper form.
👍 Here we report a high precision X-ray structure of bacteriorhodopsin determined at 1.55 resolution.
```{example, name="Reproducible"}
_Reproducible_ means that something can be copied or repeated with the same results.
👍 Although the experimental methods described by Williams _et al._ (2008) were _reproducible_, we did not reproduce several key features of their protein structure.
```{exercise, name=“Imprecise wording”}
Rephrase the following sentences to make the phrases in italics more precise:
- Morpholino-induced knockdown led to a 2-fold change in mRNA level.
- Glucose metabolism in the human brain is drastically compromised even with low doses of alcohol.
- The change in growth rate was less than that seen on addition of chloramphenicol.
- The gene’s expression is known to be negatively regulated by several microRNAs.
### Problem words: Since
*Since* can have an ambiguous meaning when used to describe two consecutive events which may or may not have a causal relationship.
```{example, name="Ambiguous words: _since_"}
👎 An increase in extinction rate occurred _since_ global temperatures increased.
Here, _since_ is ambiguous because it can have either a temporal meaning or a causal meaning (as a synonym for "because").
👍 An increase in extinction rate occurred _in the period since_ global temperatures increased.
If the relationship is _temporal_ make this clear (i.e. the increase in extinction rate _followed_ the global temperature increase).
👍 An increase in extinction rate occurred _because_ global temperatures increased.
If the relationship is _causal_ use because (i.e. the increase in extinction rate _was caused by_ the global temperature increase).20.3.5 Problem words: With
Similar to since, with can be ambiguous. A common cause is when with can mean either having or using.
```{exercise, name=“Using with”}
This sentence has two possible meanings – replace with to make the sentence unambiguous.
- Carnivorous plants obtain additional mineral nutrients by trapping and digesting insect prey with specialized organs.
There are many other ways in which we use *with*. Consider the following exercises. Replace *with* with a more precise word.
```{exercise, name="Using with for addition"}
👎 Even low doses of alcohol result in a 13\% decrease in brain glucose metabolism with impairment in performance on cognitive tests.
👍 Even low doses of alcohol result in a 13\% decrease in brain glucose metabolism .......... impairment in performance on cognitive tests.
```{exercise, name=“Using with for time”}
👎 With treatment with Lithium, the enzyme’s activity was inhibited.
👍 ………. treatment with Lithium, the enzyme’s activity was inhibited.
👍 ………. treatment with Lithium, the enzyme’s activity was inhibited.
```{exercise, name="Using with for cause"}
👎 The stem length of soya seedlings was increased _with_ the presence of Rhizobia, nitrogen-fixing soil bacteria.
👍 An increase in the stem length of soya seedlings was .......... by the presence of Rhizobia, nitrogen-fixing soil bacteria.
```{exercise, name=“Using with for supporting details”}
👎 Growth rate was increased with a peak rate reached after 24 hours.
👍 Growth rate was increased, ………. a peak rate after 24 hours.
```{exercise, name="Using with for components"}
👎 After injecting the subjects with blood _with_ merosomes we harvested infected red blood cells.
👍 After injecting the subjects with .......... blood we harvested infected red blood cells.
With may be used legitimately when used to mean:
- in the company of
- by means or agency of
- having as an attribute
- in specific verb combination
```{example, name=“With, in the company of”}
👍 Mouse peritoneal macrophages accumulate large amounts of cholesteryl ester when incubated with human low-density lipoprotein.
```{example, name="_With_, by means or agency of"}
👍 We constructed an integrated genetic linkage map using standard software _with_ default settings.
```{example, name=“With, having as an attribute”}
👍 We identified offspring mice with agouti coat color derived from the injected ES cells.
```{example, name="_With_, in specific verb combination"}
Verbs that can be combined with _with_ include:
- _supplemented_ with
- _compared_ with (see the sectiono n transitions for a discussion on _with_ versus _to_.)
- _associated_ with
- _reacted_ with
👍 We studied pre-implantation bovine embryos cultured in medium supplemented _with_ either serum or PVA.
20.3.6 Problem words: Show
The word show is an informal, imprecise, and over-used word in reporting results. The phrase “our data/results show” is informal and ambiguous. Show in this sense can mean indicate, suggest, prove or demonstrate. When referencing Tables and Figures, show is imprecise and over-used.
```{example, name=“Two Senses of Show”}
Here, show is used in the indicative sense, i.e. to literally point to where the data is:
👍 Table 1 shows the most common causes of gastroenteritis.
In the following sentence, show is used in the informative sense, i.e. to highlight a specific aspect of the data:
👍 Table 1 shows that viral infections are the most common cause of gastroenteritis.
```{exercise, name="Alternatives to show"}
_Show_ is informal, imprecise, and over-used. What are some alternatives? Which are synonymous, i.e. which can be use in the indicative sense, which in the informative sense, and which can be used in both senses?20.3.7 Constructive Ambiguity
Occasionally, it is acceptable to make vague statements, because the information at hand is incomplete or inconclusive. Vague descriptions of quantitative facts are not acceptable.
```{example, name=“Avoid Ambiguity Unless Appropriate”}
Here, the word several is vague but appropriate, assuming that we cannot be completely certain of how many species are present.
👍 Several thousand species of beetle can be found in the rain forests of Indonesia.
👎 The spliceosome is composed of {several snRNA subunits.
👍 The spliceosome is composed of {five snRNA subunits.
There isno need for ambiguity here, since the spliceosome is a compleely-described complex.
### Compound Nouns
Compound nouns consisting of several concatenated nouns and adjectives are a distinguishing feature of the German language and are equivalent to noun clusters in English. Noun clusters decrease the readability and comprehensibility of the text, especially since the relationship between the constituent words is often unclear. Noun clusters can be broken apart by using hyphens and appropriate prepositions to make it clear how these words relate to each other.
```{example, name="Avoid Noun Clusters"}
👎 The samples contained _high molecular weight complement-fixing serum antibodies_.
👍 The samples contained complement-fixing serum antibodies of high molecular weight.
```{exercise, name=“Noun clusters”}
Together with your partner, identify the noun cluster in each of the following three sentences and then rewrite each sentence by breaking the cluster apart.
- Simian virus transformed fetal mammalian heart fibroblasts were obtained as described below.
- Whole rat liver homogenates were used for preparing the antigen.
- We investigated cultured rat tracheal endothelial cells.
### Formal Versus Informal language
| Instead of ... | Use ... |
|----------------|-----------|
| *Utilize* | *Use* |
| *Methodology* | *Method* |
| *Gauge* | *Measure* |
: (#tab:informalWords) Cases where informal words are preferable.
In choosing whether to express something formally or informally, the main considerations are to be clear and precise. Therefore sometimes clarity and precision are achieved by using the informal (even colloquial) term and sometimes by using the formal term.
```{example, name="TEST"}
Choosing between Formal and Informal Words
👎 We _utilised_ the median of the age range because the mean is influenced by outliers.
| Instead of … | Use … |
|---|---|
| Went up | Increased |
| Guess | Estimate, or surmise (is possible) |
| Get | Obtain |
In general, if the informal word is imprecise (e.g. show), the precise formal expression (e.g. suggest or demonstrate) will make the reader’s life easier.
21 Abstract Edits
```{exercise, name=“Abstract edits”}
Using what we’ve covered so far, begin editing your own abstract as well as your partner’s. Use the following pointers as a guideline:
Can you find phrases that can be shortened or simply deleted?
Are hedge words, -ly adverbs, and emphasising words used appropriately?
Underline jargon terms. Can you replace them with a more generally understandable synonym?
Are any of the problems words discussed in the previous chapter used in an unclear way?
Can you find any noun clusters?
Are there any buried verbs which you can convert to an active verb.
In anticipation of structuring sentences, consider the following:
What are the key words in this abstract. Are they repeated and kept consistent?
Find a sentence which has a large gap between the subject and verb (or the verb and the object). Re-write the sentence, closing this gap.
Can you rewrite any sentences to make them easier to understand? ```